‘Accidentally Brave’ – A Wife’s Story of Her Husband’s Arrest for Child Porn

What does real recovery from sex addiction look like? What does it look like for partners and family members? Maddie Corman can tell you. She’s the wife of Jace Alexander, a well-known Law and Order director who was arrested and put on probation for charges of child pornography. Several years after the very public news of her husband’s arrest and his stay in sex addiction rehab, Corman wrote and starred in the play Accidentally Brave, a one-woman show about her story of dealing with the trauma, which is now releasing as a film.

Dealing With a Loved One’s Sex Addiction

Corman is clear in Accidentally Brave that the only story she feels comfortable telling is her own. But it does include the context of her children dealing with their father’s shocking secret, his arrest, and his recovery; it also includes the reality of her relationship with her husband, her feelings toward him, and the decisions she had to make about their life together.

Corman is not sparing when it comes to describing the breadth of emotions she experienced from the moment her husband’s addiction was revealed to her day-to-day life in the present. She candidly expresses the shock, fear, sadness, rage, confusion, and despair that came over her in waves, especially in the early aftermath of Alexander’s arrest. She could not conceive how the man who was her husband of 17 years, her best friend, and the father of her three children could possibly do what he had done. It was a deep, dark secret that suddenly became exposed to the world. Corman had to deal not only with her husband’s betrayal and its effect on her children, but with the court of public opinion.

In an interview with PBS, Corman says, “I didn’t know he was watching pornography … I have a lot of shame about that. We never talked about it … When I received this news, and I was lying on the bathroom floor … I was just, like, How can I get the kids to school? How can I go to the market and see the fewest people possible and not start crying when I’m at the checkout?”

The Child Abuse Connection

The label of “sex addiction” can, as Corman admits, sound like an excuse; but the reality of sex addiction is more complex than many people think. A significant portion of those receiving treatment for sex addiction were also victims of child abuse. Research by Meadows Senior Fellow Dr. Patrick Carnes reveals that 81% of sexually addicted men report that they experienced sexual abuse as children. While Corman does not get specific about what happened to her husband (it’s his story, she says), she does say that “things happened to him” that he had not shared with her.

It’s worth noting that even though sexual trauma can be a contributor to the development of pornography or sex addiction, it does not in any way diminish the harm done to victims of the pornography industry (especially children) and the victims of sexual trauma, as well as partners and family members. But understanding the factors at play in the formation of sex addiction can help spur its resolution and the individual’s recovery.

Sexual trauma in childhood can create confusion around attachment, arousal, and self-worth. Without the neurological or emotional capacity to appropriately process sexual trauma, survivors can grow up with dysfunctional views of sex, their sexuality, intimacy, and relationships. Processing trauma is a key step in correcting these views and breaking unhealthy or harmful patterns that can perpetuate trauma and abuse. The goal of sex addiction treatment is to get to the root of the damaging perspectives and behaviors related to sex and self-worth.

The Reality of Sex Addiction Treatment

Recovery is not just for the individual with the sex addiction; it’s also for the partners and family members who have been betrayed or hurt as a result. Accidentally Brave is a sharp portrait of exactly what that looks and feels like for a spouse. Corman also shares pieces of what her kids went through as they dealt with the pain of their father’s addiction — as well as the effects of its publicity.

She speaks specifically about what it was like to attend “Family Week” at her husband’s treatment center. Still filled with rage, sadness, and fear, she did not want to go. But upon attending the sessions, she discovered a measure of compassion for the other men in rehab and their family members. (It took some time for her to feel the same way about her husband.) She says in the PBS interview, “Not everyone at this rehab was there for the same reasons, but I met people who had done other kinds of unspeakable things, and they became human to me.”

Recovering from Betrayal Trauma

In the aftermath of sex addiction, partners are left to deal with their emotions and pain alone, in addition to having to make a wealth of decisions and handle the flood of opinions from their community. In Accidentally Brave, Corman explains the moment when her husband finally realized this imbalance. She states: “My husband comes to me, and he says, ‘I think I know what I did to you. It’s like I ran you over with a cement truck, and you’re lying on the ground bloody and badly hurt, and I back up and run you over a second time. And then I get out of the truck, and I call the ambulance. And when the ambulance finally arrives, I get in and drive away, leaving you there on the ground.’ It’s the first time I feel like he gets the scope of this betrayal.”

Partners need support as much as those suffering from addiction. They need comfort, knowledge, and help in the process of recovering from sexual betrayal. Some healing can come from connecting with others who have experienced the same thing — as well as professionals who can walk alongside them. For everyone dealing with betrayal trauma who wants to experience empathy and refreshing truth connected to that trauma and recovery, you can find it in Accidentally Brave.

We’re Here for You

At Willow Healing Center at The Meadows, we specialize in treating women who have experienced emotional trauma, struggle with intimacy, or face mental health challenges, including addiction. No matter what you’ve been through, you can find freedom and healing here. We provide a safe, compassionate environment and personalized treatment programs tailored to your needs, helping you reclaim your life and identity — and thrive again. Reach out today to learn more.